12 weeks out from my first fitness competition and my old friend ‘doubt’ has decided to pay me a visit.  I thought I had kicked him to the kerb after my body transformation in 2014 when I regained my confidence, and my old body back, but he decided to pop up when I least expected it.

It all started when I got a letter from my fitness competition  organisers, Pure Elite, reminding me that I have 12 weeks left until I step on stage and that  reminded me I still have so much to do – buy posing shoes, book posing coach, practice walking in shoes.  It’s not just any old shoes either, they have to be the right height, and you need to get the right shoes that will accentuate your legs.  The same goes for selecting a posing coach, whoever you chose will need to show you how best to present your body on stage and show you the all important T – walk which is basically the contestant usually walking in from the left of the stage walking to the front of the stage, then left, then all the way to the right of the stage.  That’s a simplistic view as you have to do some set poses along the way.

Anyway I digress, back to my old friend doubt and this whole process which can be so overwhelming that it messes with your mind in ways that you cannot imagine.  It doesn’t help that the gym I train in, Crayford Weights and Fitness, is where so many competitors train, they also produces several winners and champions so I always find that I am comparing myself to other people who are at the same stage as me.

I am usually a stay-in-my-lane-tunnel-vision kind of girl but with lack of food (I live for carb day) and the constant tiredness from the training it’s no wonder that my mind is a little messed up.  A quick work with my coach Clara soon helped kick that doubt into touch, she remind me that we are all individuals who may have different ways of training, and possibly eating, and that I need to keep my head down, stick to the diet plan and focus on my journey not that of others. Tough love for sure but it worked and the following week my old friend doubt was back where he belongs – on the kerb.

Pictures: 11 and 12 weeks out from stepping on stage, practising in my posing shoes

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